THE PLAN – Yes – I’m Shouting

Have you bought into the idea of the plan?  Do you spend your days, weeks and life trying to achieve the plan? 

What is the Plan?

The Plan is to Have It All.

This Plan seems real based on many of the women I have interviewed throughout the year.  It seems to be the source, drive and ambition and the same source that has created overscheduled, overworked and overtired women.

Where did this desire to Have It All come from? How did we learn about the Plan?  And why did we go after it so fiercely—and sometimes to our detriment?

As far as I can tell, the Plan was set in our unconscious at an early age as the touchstone for happiness and fulfillment. If we studied and took the Plan seriously—we would be sure to live a life of fulfillment.  So where are the balloons and champagne?

The Plan we have been living under emerged in the 1960s and took hold in the 1970s. It was what historians call the “second feminist wave.”  It’s been in hyper-speed mode ever since. Society delegated women as beneficiaries of The Plan. Who wouldn’t want to benefit?

The Plan consists of a series of choices that, once made—and correctly made—have the potential to make us happy, fulfilled and successful. The choices at the heart of the Plan include but are not limited to:

  • education
  • marriage
  • children
  • career
  • financial 
  • material security

One woman’s life can hold all or some of these choices. Some choices are individually tailored, such as if you marry and who you marry, if you have children, when and how. Financial goals and community involvement may be important to some women and not important to others.

But here is the challenge: This plan seems to be a one-size fits all and we all know how those work for most women . . . they just don’t.

As your life has evolved, how have you adjusted The Plan to make it your own? 

What guidance can you give women in their twenties that believe they must have a great career, be a great wife, raise children, be skinny, live in a beautiful house and drive a nice car before they can ever consider themselves successful.

I would love to hear about the tough choices you have made on Purposeful Woman Facebook page  when you have given yourself permission to be true to your being instead allowing external demands determine what should be right for you.

Your personal choices and stories can motivate others especially as we start 2011.