Are You a Negative or Positive Communicator?

We all like to think that we are a shining example of all that is good and right in this world. We like to think that the words we speak will help to motivate and inspire. But is that truly the case?

We all need to actively mute the negative in both our internal and external conversations. If you’re not sure if you need to mute the negative, try a quick Self-Communication Audit. I do one regularly. It helps me notice and keep track of what I say in each and every interaction. The audit has three steps:

  • Listen to yourself,
  • Learn from listening, and
  • Alter your conversation, if needed.

It shouldn’t take you more than a day to discover into what category most of your conversation falls.

When I conduct a Self-Communication Audit, I put my words in one of two columns:

Uplifting, Supportive, Positive

Destructive, Unkind, Negative








Years ago, during a difficult time, I was surprised when I first did this audit. After only one day of the audit, I found that more than half my conversations were in the negative column. I never realized I made so many unproductive comments. I gossiped, and I often complained, as I played the “why me?” card.

I even noticed that people reciprocated with similar negative remarks in a similar negative tone, supporting mine. If I complained, people listened and then they began to complain, too. I had started a chain reaction of unproductive conversation. I was horrified!

I also noticed what happened to my internal energy when I was negative and unkind. My negative remarks may have hurt or bothered others and affected their energy levels, but what my negativity did to me was literally palpable. My energy level plummeted and left me depleted and yearning for some kind of pick-me-up. It became twice as difficult to generate positive thoughts or conversations once I let negativity loose. That’s when I made a commitment to change my conversation, for good.

When I realized that being negative submerged and overwhelmed the best I had to offer, I worked daily to minimize gossiping, backbiting, criticizing, and whining. I have no regrets; I’m really glad I made an effort to change this kind of pollution. As I continue to be vigilant about my conversation, I have made a commitment to myself that my new direction in life would help humankind and the world by offering a positive uplifting voice every chance I got.

Being positive has become a terrific energizer.